wrestling classic
The WWF lands on pay-per-view in glorious WrestleVision, as Lord Alfed Hayes leers, Davey Boy Smith has issues downstairs, and we get Randy Savage all night long! Plus, three Junkyard Dog matches to counteract such awesomeness!...Ring-a-ding-ding!
history in the making
Cable television. Conquered. Closed-circuit television. Annihilated. Network television. Roaring success. The WWF had dominated media throughout 1985 – add to those successes booming live gates and Hulk Hogan appearing on the cover of Sports Illustrated and Vince McMahon’s business was on fire to a level unseen before in professional wrestling. The next step was pay-per-view, a new invention that was a top-notch way for a sporting or entertainment event to sell its product to a nationwide audience, and get a lot of money from doing so.
So, what kind of card do we get for this big debut? Paul Orndorff versus one of Bobby Heenan’s Family, with the $50,000 bounty on the line?
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How about Ricky ‘The Dragon’ Steamboat getting revenge on The Magnificent Muraco? Or, The Hillbillies stomping on the hats of Roddy Piper and Jesse Ventura? No, that’s not what we’re going to get. We will get a 16-man tournament, which is for…nothing! But it is prestigious. Plus, someone is going to get win a Rolls Royce! Not sold yet? Fine…what if we add Roddy Piper against Hulk Hogan for the WWF Championship? OK, now we have our selling point, the first ever pay-per-view singles match between Hogan and Piper, who despite their war have still not settled their score…
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it's a happening
Vince McMahon and Lord Alfred Hayes start off the first ever WWF pay-per-view by running us through the tournament bracket, accompanied by a young lady named Susan armed with a massive pointer to help us see the headshots of each competitor. Lord Al actually moves his hands as Vince sends us to “highlights out of the fish bowl”, so they’re using the real Lord Al here, not WrestleMania’s cardboard cutout. Ricky Steamboat pulls out Davey Boy Smith for his first opponent and calls him a “fine young man”, whilst Macho Man Randy Savage lets Elizabeth picks his opponent and freaks out at Liz for choosing Ivan Putski.
Jack Tunney debuts on WWF pay-per-view and…doesn’t say anything memorable. A great tradition is born. Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura appear as our commentary team for the evening and Gorilla leaves us in no doubt that this a happening.
Jack Tunney debuts on WWF pay-per-view and…doesn’t say anything memorable. A great tradition is born. Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura appear as our commentary team for the evening and Gorilla leaves us in no doubt that this a happening.
wrestling classic tournament first round
All our first round matches have ten-minute time-limits, because wrestling used to have reasons for short matches.
corporal kirchner vs. adrian adonis (w/ jimmy hart)
Kirchner was one of Vince McMahon’s occasional attempts to re-create a former star who had moved on or mimicking a currently successful character (which has worked a sum total of Kane) as Sgt Slaughter had left for the AWA and the rights to his own G.I. Joe action figure. This was at a time when Sivi Afi had singularly failed to replace 'Superfly' Jimmy Snuka. Kirchner had been pushed heavily before his debut in a series of vignettes that featured his military training. Adonis is still in his leather jacket, so not quite ‘Adorable’ yet, but is rapidly gaining weight as Gorilla points out.
The ring here is very loud and springy, not much like the professional set-up we’re used to from the WWF. Lots of headlocks, chinlocks and the odd back suplex later, and Adonis blocks a suplex attempt into a DDT (before it was a DDT) to get the three in the first of many (necessarily) short matches. The replay shows Kirchner’s head hitting the mat hard, in a sick-looking spot. Jimmy Hart tries to get over the ‘Adorable’ gimmick in the post-match interview, so that’s coming… |
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dynamite kid vs. nikolai volkoff
Dynamite and his partner Davey Boy Smith had been signed the previous year as part of the Stampede Wrestling deal, and were now becoming one of the hottest tag teams in the WWF with their athletic and fast-paced style. Volkoff here is sans Freddie Blassie, and sings the Soviet National Anthem to great heel heat. Dynamite, who is super-jacked, waits on the top rope, and as soon as Nikolai finishes, he hits a missile dropkick to the kisser for three in about six seconds.
ivan putski vs. randy 'macho man' savage (w/ Elizabeth)
Savage forgives Elizabeth (to an extent) and emphasises his speed before taking on ‘Polish Power’ Ivan Putski. Putski here looks like a steroid-fuelled Frank Sinatra, and moves about as much as Sinatra would if he had been in the ring. Putski spits at Macho, which is a very un-babyface thing to do, and Gorilla covers by saying that Savage had spat at Putski earlier (which he hadn’t) and that Putski had been “provocated”. Jesse Ventura is preparing for an in-ring comeback as Savage’s partner, and he is vehemently pro-Savage, and refers to Putski as “Pa-doo-ski” throughout the match, which again is short and consists mostly of the Macho Man running away from Putski until he trips the Polish Power in the corner and puts his feet on the ropes for the three.
Nikolai Volkoff interrupts Vince and Lord Alfred claiming he was robbed, and then some other stuff that even Vince doesn’t understand…something about laughing but not being finished yet. I think…
ricky 'the dragon' steamboat vs. davey boy smith
Steamboat is super-over with the crowd as he is introduced for this “scientific encounter” with the other half of The British Bulldogs, Davey Boy Smith. Ventura is awesome, insisting that greed will overcome one of the babyfaces before the end of the match so they can advance, but Gorilla contends that they are both of high character. Gorilla and Jesse are great at entertaining us with their bickering, but they get the story of the match over whilst doing it. JBL and Michael Cole take heed…Davey Boy hits a couple of impressive gorilla press slams and Steamboat responds with a delayed vertical suplex (or “executed move” according to Gorilla) which is beautiful and looks even better in the slow motion replay later. Davey Boy hits a dropkick, but when he tries another, Steamboat moves and he crotches himself on the ropes, resulting in the bell ringing almost before he even hits the ropes. Apparently, Davey is unable to continue, establishing that Davey Boy Smith has the weakest groin in wrestling history. The crowd boo the finish whilst Steamboat attends to Smith and Jesse contends that Steamboat is secretly happy about what happened. Good whilst it lasted, but too short to fulfil the potential of these two.
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junkyard dog vs. the iron sheik
JYD thanks the man upstairs and his dog before taking on The Iron Sheik, who like his partner Volkoff is without manager Freddie Blassie. JYD is over huge with the crowd as The Sheik and himself fail to sell much as Gorilla calls this tournament “the most prestigious in history”. JYD headbutts Sheik at one point, which Sheik sells by touching his head and walking slowly to the ropes and calmly getting out of the ring. Sheik and JYD screw up the camel clutch, Sheik not locking the arms, but Gorilla and Jesse sell it well and put over that JYD probably won’t give up because of it, saving the integrity of Sheik’s finisher. Sheik pushes the ref and turns into a headbutt to take the loss.
terry funk (w/ jimmy hart) vs. moondog spot
Terry Funk spits tobacco at the camera lens before this match and proclaims that he is smarter than Spot. In the ring, he says he doesn’t want to wrestle Spot, and suggests that they both leave and take the draw. As they walk down the aisle, Funk takes out Spot from behind, but doesn’t get in the ring before Spot comes back and pulls him off the apron. Funk manages to back bodydrop Spot into the ring before the ten count, meaning that Funk loses by countout, and is outsmarted by a man carrying a huge bone.
tito santana vs. the magnificent muraco (w/ mr fuji)
Horrible flashbacks to Madison Square Garden in January 1984…Mean Gene tells Muraco that you need to be in the best shape to make it all the way in this tournament, and then knowingly looks at Muraco’s somewhat protruding gut…For some reason the Intercontinental champion Tito Santana is already in the ring whilst The Magnificent Muraco is one of the few stars to get his own entrance. Jesse thinks Tito is foolish for risking injury by participating in the tournament and putting his IC title defences at risk, which does get over the importance of the Intercontinental title but forgets how prestigious this tournament is. Ventura hates on Santana, saying that he often bends the rules, to which Gorilla pulls pot, kettle, black on Ventura and then says, “You’re the best bender I know.” There is no time for long headlocks in this one, and after some basic punch-kick stuff, Muraco hits a strong snake eyes on the top rope, and then slams Santana for a 3. However, Santana’s foot was on the ropes, and as Muraco celebrates, Santana rolls him up to get the real three count. Ventura calls it a “cheap, cheap win for an Intercontinental champion” whilst the crowd actually gives a short “bullshit” chant…
'mr wonderful' paul orndorff vs. 'cowboy' 'ace' bob orton
'Cowboy' 'Ace' Bob Orton is still sporting his cast, so he is a perfect choice to try and take out Orndorff for the bounty in addition to their history dating back to the WrestleMania main event. Orndorff tries to counter this by working over Orton’s cast arm, until the Man Of Too Many Nicknames takes over and hits some nice-looking punches on Mr Wonderful in the corner. Orton proves that he has a stronger groin than Davey Boy Smith by missing a flying headscissors and crotching himself but being able to carry on. Orndorff unloads on Orton and sends him to the outside, where Cowboy readjusts the cast and clocks Orndorff with it. The referee calls for a disqualification, giving the win to Orndorff, who immediately jumps up to no-sell his knockout shot.
Lord Alfred Hayes is molesting Susan as we cut to the tournament brackets (this was Lord Al’s gimmick on Tuesday Night Titans and his pastime in real-life) before Vince brings his attention to the first round results. Hayes actually begins by going into some depth about the outcomes of the first few matches, before he clearly gets a nudge from Vince to speed up and jumps into just saying “Surprise” for every other match. Terry Funk then becomes the second man to claim to McMahon (who shows his wonderful disgusted face at ‘Terrible’ Terry) that he has been robbed and then threatens to slap the “big-eyed jerk” Lord Al.
wrestling classic tournament quarter-finals
We're now moving into fifteen-minute time-limits...
dynamite kid vs. adrian adonis (w/ jimmy hart)
In an interesting touch, both men are introduced along with the names of the people they best in the first round. Dynamite opens with quick and crisp moves and gives Chris Benoit his template for his ring style. Adonis hits an elbow to the head that Dynamite sells by shaking as if his spine has been damaged. Jesse leaves to go and give Macho Man some advice before his next match. Gorilla is astounded that Jesse has actually left, and doesn’t get over it for the rest of the bout. Adonis locks in a sharpshooter but Dynamite makes the ropes. Dynamite hits his trademark snap suplex and diving headbutt prompting Jimmy Hart to jump on the apron and cause a distraction that allows Adonis to roll Dynamite up for a two. Dynamite pushes out, sending Adonis into Jimmy Hart and letting Dynamite get his own pin for a three count. Adonis actually had his leg on the ropes and throws a temper tantrum about it, although Gorilla completely ignores it. Later this very month, Adonis would hand his leather jacket to Roddy Piper and fully embrace being the ‘Adorable One’.
Jesse Ventura uses the “Let me tell you something, Mean Gene” line before explaining that he has been helping Macho Man prepare by watching the other wrestlers each week from the commentary table and giving his insight to Savage, using the three heads of himself, Savage and Elizabeth to achieve victories. Mean Gene suggests that Jesse is “very prejudiced” in his commentary, which Ventura gets upset with. It’s hard to remember that Ventura’s heel commentator gimmick was very original at the time, as it has been done to death during the thirty years since.
ricky 'the dragon' steamboat vs. randy 'macho man' savage (w/ elizabeth)
This is very exciting. Savage ducks behind Elizabeth to earn Monsoon’s disapproval, but takes advantage to Pearl Harbor Steamboat. Steamboat explodes and knocks Savage outside where they brawl for a bit. Steamer chops away and hits a delayed atomic drop. Macho Man holds on to the ropes to avoid a chop, and then runs into a chop anyway. Jesse Ventura returns to the commentary table as Savage takes control briefly until his flying axe handle is caught. Steamboat hits a flying crossbody and then chops away again as Ventura complains about their closeness to Savage’s throat. On the apron Savage plunges his hand very, very far into his trunks and rummages around to find some brass knuckles, which he then hits Steamboat in the head with as The Dragon tries to back suplex him back in the ring. Steamboat collapses the fall and takes the loss, which Ventura counts along with. There is a disturbing slow-motion replay of Savage replacing the knux in his trunks, again way deep.
junkyard dog vs. moondog spot
“Spotty”, as Gorilla calls him throughout the night, jumps JYD but misses a splash and Junkyard headbutts, headbutts, headbutts and pins Spot but there is no referee…so JYD counts the fall himself. Gorilla says it won’t be official, then covers by saying that the “ringside judge” has okayed the decision.
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Bobby Heenan can’t put over the $50, 000 bounty because Orndorff will be facing Tito Santana and Santana is too nice to take the bounty. He then half-heartedly puts over Piper for the title match later on. Not Heenan’s best night…
'mr wonderful' paul orndorff vs. tito santana
Santana is sporting a bandage on his leg, giving Jesse the chance to claim his brilliance in predicting Santana’s foolishness in competing in the tournament. Orndorff and Santana spend most of the match lying on the mat, either in headscissors or headlock spots. The only entertaining thing in the match is Jesse’s constant speculation that Orndorff would boil over and show the ‘true’ Mr Wonderful, and even the slightest thing is jumped on by Ventura, such as Orndorff clenching his fists when staring Santana down. They fall to the outside and both get counted out quite quickly, but continue brawling, giving Jesse the chance to say that the volcano has erupted, which Gorilla tries to downplay, because we’re a good six months too early for that…
Lord Alfred is pecking Susan on the cheek as we look at the tournament brackets. Ventura is upset that JYD now gets a bye to the finals due to the Orndorff-Santana draw, whilst Gorilla says “you couldn’t have pencilled in a tournament to come out in this fashion.”
wwf championship match: hulk hogan (c) vs. 'rowdy' roddy piper
Piper looks evil as he stares down the aged-Humphrey Bogart-a-like referee before Hogan – in white trunks – makes his entrance to a huge ovation from the crowd. Hogan shows his belt to Piper, and Piper grabs it from him and pulls him in for a cheap shot. They brawl to the outside and Hogan throws Piper over a barricade. Back in the ring they both rake each other’s eyes before Hogan takes control with a corner clothesline, back suplex and a couple of elbow drops. Piper takes control when Bogie intervenes as Hogan punches in the corner and Piper takes advantage with a cheap shot. The crowd chants for Hogan as Piper jumps on his bag and locks in a sleeper. Hogan doesn’t let his hand fall for the three, and he manages to regain his vertical position before tumbling out of the ring with Piper to break the hold. They brawl outside for way longer than Orndorff and Santana did, but they don’t get counted out. Back in the ring, Piper axehandles Hogan into the ref, giving him the chance to hit Hogan with a chair. Hogan blocks another chair shot and locks in his own sleeper hold with chair still in hand. Cowboy Bob Orton runs in for the disqualification. Orndorff runs in to level the playing field with a chair of his own and chases the heels out. Hogan and Orndorff then pose down to celebrate.
Mean Gene then tells JYD that if he’s lucky he might just make it to the final… which he already has due to the bye that Jesse has been complaining about ever since…
wrestling classic tournament semi-finals
Up to thirty minutes now, with just the one semi-final and the babyface getting the unfair advantage of a bye...
dynamite kid vs. randy 'macho man' savage (w/ elizabeth)
“Until she proves me wrong, Elizabeth is a lady” – you have to love Gorilla Monsoon. Savage spends some time arguing with fans outside the ring before he and Dynamite spend some time rolling around the ropes, allowing Savage to take advantage of the referee’s intervention to sucker punch Dynamite. The two exchange chops and elbows and Dynamite nails a very high back bodydrop. Dynamite tries a sunset flip but Savage actually regains his balance and falls on Dynamite. Savage ducks out of the way of a flying crossbody but Dynamite catches him with a dropkick as he reaches the top rope. Dynamite then hits a superplex with both men on the top rope but Savage hooks a cradling Dynamite’s leg and steals the win.
Vince McMahon leers over Susan next, before Lord Alfred Hayes gives away a Rolls Royce. The crowd don’t care and boo like crazy, which makes Lord Alfred laugh his head off. Gorilla is still laughing about it when they cut to him and Jesse. This level of natural reaction would never be allowed in the current-day WWE.
Hulk Hogan then repeatedly says “Ringy-ding-ding” a lot during an interview with Mean Gene where he looks at the wrong camera throughout, and Orndorff says he and Hogan are “blood”, which Gorilla then claims he has no right to say, killing the interview straight away.
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wrestling classic tournament final
junkyard dog vs. randy 'macho man' savage (w/ elizabeth)
Savage uses Liz for cover again and then spends an eternity delaying getting in the ring, talking to fans and threatening to use chairs. JYD gets one chair and headbutts it a few times, before the two finally lock up. Mean Gene joins commentary as Jesse complains to him about the unfair situation of Savage having to wrestle more matches than JYD. Savage hits a clothesline but JYD takes a few seconds before deciding to sell. Savage hits an axehandle from the top to the outside for a pop, and then spends an eternity breaking the count on JYD and attacking him. Savage continually crawls around the ring apron to sneak attack JYD, and Gorilla complains that he is no better than a “dog”. Of course, fighting The Junkyard Dog makes it seem like being a dog is a bad thing, and Jesse mockingly says “Good point, Gorilla, I like that”. The crowd are getting restless and so Savage rolls JYD into the ring and takes the Dog’s headbutts like a champ, flying away from them. JYD then back bodydrops Savage out of the ring, where Macho gets counted out rather quickly. JYD, despite not doing very much in the match, is barely able to talk due to lack of breath as Mean Gene interviews him in the ring. Luckily, Jesse Ventura jumps in to argue the injustice of Savage having to wrestle one more match and save JYD from having to exhale any harder.
Susan gives Lord Al a peck on the cheek as Vince puts over the Rolls Royce and suggests that Susan can take a ride in it with Lord Alfred. Susan says that she didn’t win the car, but Lord Alfred wins the prize for creepiest man of the night (a prestigious competition that he walked) by saying “Oh, you’ll win something, don’t you worry”. And, end show…
let me tell you something, mean gene
The Wrestling Classic pulled in 40, 000 buys which, despite being the lowest number in WWF/E pre-Network history, was decent considering the number of American homes with pay-per-view capability at the time and convinced Vince McMahon that the medium was worth it in the long run…
As with a lot of early WWF pay-per-views, there were far too many matches on the Wrestling Classic, meaning none of them really stood out. It also meant that potentially awesome matches, such as Steamboat-Davey Boy Smith, Steamboat-Savage, and Dynamite Kid-Savage were decent enough but never got the time to be anywhere as good as they could have been. The tournament heavily featured Savage, who looked good throughout the night against different opponents, although not on the same level that he would reach a few years later at WrestleMania IV. Having Junkyard Dog wrestle three times in one night was not such a great idea, despite his incredible popularity, and the final consisted mostly of Savage stalling to give the man with far fewer minutes under his belt a rest.
The WWF Championship match was good fun and given a little longer than most of the other matches, although again we didn't get a conclusive finish despite this being the end of the Hogan-Piper feud in the WWF. The score was not yet settled, and wouldn't be until their WCW days a decade later. Or, if you listen to Roddy Piper's podcast, then you'll know that he still doesn't consider the war to be over.
So, in conclusion, Wrestling Classic was not a great pay-per-view, and was certainly from an in-ring standpoint nowhere near what the NWA put on for their closed-circuit Starrcade spectacular later that month. Yet, everything did move along at a fair old pace, and featured enough talent who were over that the crowd stayed interested throughout. Moreover, it's an historic event in that it was the first wrestling show solely available on pay-per-view, a medium that would provide the industry's lifeblood for the next thirty years, so from that point-of-view it is worth a look. Plus, with Lord Alfred Hayes unleashed from behind his cardboard stand-in, there are plenty of uncomfortable moments that he somehow, someway, just about manages to get away with, "don't you worry"...
As with a lot of early WWF pay-per-views, there were far too many matches on the Wrestling Classic, meaning none of them really stood out. It also meant that potentially awesome matches, such as Steamboat-Davey Boy Smith, Steamboat-Savage, and Dynamite Kid-Savage were decent enough but never got the time to be anywhere as good as they could have been. The tournament heavily featured Savage, who looked good throughout the night against different opponents, although not on the same level that he would reach a few years later at WrestleMania IV. Having Junkyard Dog wrestle three times in one night was not such a great idea, despite his incredible popularity, and the final consisted mostly of Savage stalling to give the man with far fewer minutes under his belt a rest.
The WWF Championship match was good fun and given a little longer than most of the other matches, although again we didn't get a conclusive finish despite this being the end of the Hogan-Piper feud in the WWF. The score was not yet settled, and wouldn't be until their WCW days a decade later. Or, if you listen to Roddy Piper's podcast, then you'll know that he still doesn't consider the war to be over.
So, in conclusion, Wrestling Classic was not a great pay-per-view, and was certainly from an in-ring standpoint nowhere near what the NWA put on for their closed-circuit Starrcade spectacular later that month. Yet, everything did move along at a fair old pace, and featured enough talent who were over that the crowd stayed interested throughout. Moreover, it's an historic event in that it was the first wrestling show solely available on pay-per-view, a medium that would provide the industry's lifeblood for the next thirty years, so from that point-of-view it is worth a look. Plus, with Lord Alfred Hayes unleashed from behind his cardboard stand-in, there are plenty of uncomfortable moments that he somehow, someway, just about manages to get away with, "don't you worry"...