WrestleMania 2
Roddy Piper pushes the limits of racial sensitivity - and turns babyface as a result; The British Bulldogs battle for their immigration papers; and Hulk Hogan takes on King Kong Bundy in the clash of 0% Body Fat against 0% Body Hair - it's WrestleMania...2!
history in the making
After the success of the first WrestleMania, it seemed logical to run a second, but something was needed to make this bigger and better than the inaugural event. Jim Crockett had promoted Starrcade ’85 from two different arenas, broadcasting the show throughout the Carolinas on closed-circuit television. Vince McMahon, not to be outdone, held WrestleMania II from three different arenas (and three different time zones) and broadcast the event on pay-per-view, so the whole of the United States could have a chance at seeing his big event. It was so successful that no wrestling company ever tried anything like it again…
Following the last Saturday Night’s Main Event, we already had three key matches set-up for this WrestleMania. The main event would of course be Hulk Hogan defending against King Kong Bundy, the Hulkster getting his chance at revenge inside a steel cage. Doctor’s orders were that Hogan should not participate at WrestleMania, but the champion wouldn’t be told what to do, and was determined to face Bundy, bad ribs and all.
Following the last Saturday Night’s Main Event, we already had three key matches set-up for this WrestleMania. The main event would of course be Hulk Hogan defending against King Kong Bundy, the Hulkster getting his chance at revenge inside a steel cage. Doctor’s orders were that Hogan should not participate at WrestleMania, but the champion wouldn’t be told what to do, and was determined to face Bundy, bad ribs and all.
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Rowdy Roddy Piper meanwhile cut the hair of midget wrestler The Haiti Kid into the same style as Mr T, for what seemed to be no other reason than that both T and the Haiti Kid were black. Piper’s real-life disdain for Mr T came out in every interview and promo he did in the run-up to the event, where the two would face each other in another Boxing match.
Following the closeness of their match at SNME, The British Bulldogs and Capt. Lou Albano requested one final shot at The Dream Team’s tag team titles, eventually getting their wish and setting up what promised to be another fine match between the teams. In addition to those three, we had several other big selling points on the card, one of which came from a 20-man WWF vs. NFL battle royal. There wasn’t much in the way of storyline here, but it guaranteed mainstream coverage due to the appearances of famous American football players such as SuperBowl winner William ‘The Refrigerator’ Perry and gave big WWF names such as Andre The Giant, Big John Studd and Bruno Sammartino a place on the card. Macho Man Randy Savage had grown increasingly upset, paranoid and just out-right angry with George ‘The Animal’ Steele and the Hairy One’s growing infatuation with Elizabeth, blowing up on Tuesday Night Titans when Elizabeth received flowers from The Animal. The anger had reached the point at which Savage was willing to put his Intercontinental title (won from Tito Santana in February) on the line here. |
Looking back, there were few stand-out matches set for the second instalment of WrestleMania, so dozens of celebrities were littered throughout each venue in any role the WWF could find available. We forget of course that there was great pressure on McMahon to make this as successful as the first one, as the NWA and Mid-South were also experiencing hot streaks as wrestling as a whole was exploding throughout North America. The onus was on the WWF to keep ahead of the pack, and this bloated, triple-venue excess was to be the proof that the WWF was the mainstream industry leader.
it's a happening
The show opens in New York with Vince McMahon in a snazzy smoking jacket welcoming us to WrestleMania! He introduces us to actress Susan St James, who will be his co-commentator, and Ray Charles, who sings ‘America The Beautiful’. For the first time we see the now customary montage video of things to make an American proud, or for the international audience, a chance to feel awkward and a little impatient. This one is worth catching however, for the now legendary close of the montage that sees Hulk Hogan in freeze frame with fireworks in the background, suggesting that he is the greatest and most inspiring thing about America. Of course, we know from the last Saturday Night’s Main Event that he is. It’s also worth staying to the end to see a seemingly detached hand awkwardly appear in shot to lead Ray Charles out of the cage they have apparently constructed around the soul legend.
Mean Gene is live in Chicago and pimps the NFL vs. WWF Battle Royal, whilst back in New York Roddy Piper cuts a promo that today would result in massive social media protest. During his minute or so, he informs us that he’s grown his hair a little longer so people can tell the difference between himself and T (doesn’t make much sense, but OK), that if he gets knocked out he will retire from professional wrestling, tiddlywinks, dating girls – but he’ll stick with Cowboy Bob (awesome), and that despite Mr T appearing on TV wearing a kilt he will never shave his head like an Indian and paint himself black (ooh…that’s a lot of demographics potentially upset there…) The worst thing about it is that he lied…
Mean Gene is live in Chicago and pimps the NFL vs. WWF Battle Royal, whilst back in New York Roddy Piper cuts a promo that today would result in massive social media protest. During his minute or so, he informs us that he’s grown his hair a little longer so people can tell the difference between himself and T (doesn’t make much sense, but OK), that if he gets knocked out he will retire from professional wrestling, tiddlywinks, dating girls – but he’ll stick with Cowboy Bob (awesome), and that despite Mr T appearing on TV wearing a kilt he will never shave his head like an Indian and paint himself black (ooh…that’s a lot of demographics potentially upset there…) The worst thing about it is that he lied…
'mr wonderful' paul orndorff vs. the magnificent muraco (w/mr fuji)
“Mr Wonderful” Paul Orndorff, he of the completely-inappropriate-for-a-babyface nickname, makes the first claim for Most Dramatic Fall In WrestleMania Fortune by dropping from the main event of the first edition to opening the second against The Magnificent Muraco. Both men look massive here, Muraco having lost a lot of the gut he was sporting at The Wrestling Classic. The Nassau Coliseum is incredibly dark, as the WWF still hadn’t quite mastered the production sides of thing just yet. Orndorff, despite not being a natural face, was over with the crowd, even when he follows Roddy Piper’s racist forays by pulling slit eyes at Mr Fuji. Mr Wonderful holds an arm wringer on Muraco for most of the match, which the Magnificent One doesn’t even really sell, at one point getting up and taking a stroll around the ring as Susan St. James describes Orndorff’s moves as “ancient Chinese techniques”.
Despite barely moving, Muraco is gassed by the time he makes his comeback, barely able to muster the energy to throw some punches at Orndorff. They both stumble to the outside, where due to the poor lighting we can barely see them. They finally shine a spotlight on them as the referee reaches a ten count, and we start with a double countout finish. The fans chant “Bullshit!” and McMahon actually acknowledges that the fans are unhappy with the result. Orndorff still keeps his spot in the best WrestleMania match of all time up to that point, but for his Mania I tag main event, not this…
Despite barely moving, Muraco is gassed by the time he makes his comeback, barely able to muster the energy to throw some punches at Orndorff. They both stumble to the outside, where due to the poor lighting we can barely see them. They finally shine a spotlight on them as the referee reaches a ten count, and we start with a double countout finish. The fans chant “Bullshit!” and McMahon actually acknowledges that the fans are unhappy with the result. Orndorff still keeps his spot in the best WrestleMania match of all time up to that point, but for his Mania I tag main event, not this…
Howard Finkel stands for a very long time waiting to announce the double count out finish, but for some reason he just stands waiting, so we cut to a Mr T promo, where he is prepping with Joe Frazier and the Haiti Kid and does his Clubber Lang bit. As he’s talking, The Fink finally announces the result of the Muraco-Orndorff match.
intercontinental title match: randy 'macho man' savage (c) (w/ elizabeth) vs. george 'the animal' steele
Susan Saint James states that if Elizabeth had any sense she would switch boyfriends immediately…There is a LOT of stalling at the start of this match, almost as if Savage doesn’t want this match to start... Finally some action happens when George catches Savage and nibbles on his calf. Every time Steele hits Savage with a move, he immediately turns to leer at Liz, and Savage gets a cheap shot in. Macho Man hits a terrible flying bodypress, which may be the worst looking move he ever hit in his WWF career. Savage does his best to make this watchable, even going to the length of bumping off blows from flowers and turnbuckle foam. Susan St James makes the assumption that the referee is letting Steele get away with so much because he has a little thing for Elizabeth too, which doesn’t really make any sense, and then gives us the line of the night in describing the Animal: “He may not be smart, but he has respect for women.”
Steele displays this respect by stalking Liz menacingly, allowing Savage a chance to hit an axehandle from the turnbuckle. Macho climbs the ropes and hits the Big Elbow but Steele surprisingly kicks out! As the ref intervenes during a corner tussle, Savage trips Steele and mounts him in a very compromising position with his feet on the ropes to get the three and end this.
Steele displays this respect by stalking Liz menacingly, allowing Savage a chance to hit an axehandle from the turnbuckle. Macho climbs the ropes and hits the Big Elbow but Steele surprisingly kicks out! As the ref intervenes during a corner tussle, Savage trips Steele and mounts him in a very compromising position with his feet on the ropes to get the three and end this.
In Chicago, Mean Gene is with the NFL’s Bill Fralic and hairdressing’s Big John Studd. They set about cutting a terrible promo: Fralic is completely uninterested, saying “Here comes the match in 5, 10, 20 minutes…whatever”; The Fink is announcing the result of the Intercontinental title match very loudly in the background; worst of all, Big John Studd – billed as a giant huge enough to challenge Andre – is the same size as Fralic, making a mockery of his gimmick…all the while, Mean Gene desperately tries to end the segment…
Back in New York, Vince and Susan are relaxing in lounge chairs and talking about Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts, who is up next. Susan is creeped out by him.
george wells vs. jake 'the snake' roberts
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Jake had come in from Mid-South a month earlier, after a big run that had seen him be involved in an angle with Muhammad Ali, and he was now carrying an actual snake, Damien, to the ring with him, beginning an animal craze that would escalate throughout the year. George Wells was George Wells.
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Jake goes straight in with a sneaky shot, but Wells hits back with rights and the two battle a little outside, giving Roberts a chance to slither in and out. Jake attempts a very poor leapfrog, setting the stage for the WrestleMania II Leapfrog Challenge, which would continue throughout the night. He barely manages to get over the crouching Wells, and then endures some headbutts. Wells hits a powerslam as he dominates most of the match until Jake “slithers” outside the ring again. Wells follows him out and back in, but gets hit by a knee lift on his way back in, setting him up for the DDT (or “that’s the manoeuvre that’s knocked out many an opponent” if you’re Vince McMahon) and the three. Roberts took the beating from the jobber Wells to put over the DDT as a knockout move, and that strategy would work a treat over the next few years. Jake dumps the snake on Wells, who gets his place in Mania history by selling the spot by foaming at the mouth.
We get a recap of the Battling Cowboy Ace Bob Orton-Mr T boxing match from SNME that set up our next attraction. In Los Angeles, Jesse Ventura talks with Hulk Hogan, who says that he will come out on top against King Kong Bundy, just like Mr T is going to, whereas people like Ventura just go down too easily…
In New York, Howard Finkel introduces Joan Rivers to be guest ring announcer. She does such a great job that they actually cut her out of the VHS release, and it’s not often that the WWF will cut a celebrity out of a tape when there’s wrestling that can be snipped. She audibly tells Darryl Dawkins to wave at the crowd and get out of the ring (Cab Calloway has no problems on the waving front) and introduces G. Gordon Liddy as her favourite Watergate judge. Some guy called Herb prances into the ring and is the guest timekeeper. She screws up Piper and Orton’s names, but perhaps on purpose because they are the bad guys, and then refers to Mr T as “the always gracious Mr T”. An odd set of introductions for one of your main events.
In New York, Howard Finkel introduces Joan Rivers to be guest ring announcer. She does such a great job that they actually cut her out of the VHS release, and it’s not often that the WWF will cut a celebrity out of a tape when there’s wrestling that can be snipped. She audibly tells Darryl Dawkins to wave at the crowd and get out of the ring (Cab Calloway has no problems on the waving front) and introduces G. Gordon Liddy as her favourite Watergate judge. Some guy called Herb prances into the ring and is the guest timekeeper. She screws up Piper and Orton’s names, but perhaps on purpose because they are the bad guys, and then refers to Mr T as “the always gracious Mr T”. An odd set of introductions for one of your main events.
10-round boxing match: mr t (w/joe frazer & the haiti kid) vs. 'rowdy' roddy piper (w/cowboy ace battling bob orton)
Piper looks absolutely mental as he goes nose-to-nose with T before Round One begins. There is pure, unadulterated hate in his eyes. The first round is mostly T doing peek-a-boos whilst Piper misses him with wild punches. The bell rings and the two are still brawling. Piper totally dominates the second round, unleashing a flurry of punches on Mr T, and knocking him down to a huge pop. For good measure, Piper kicks him while he’s down. The crowd starts chanting “Roddy! Roddy!” so when the bell rings Piper takes a cheap shot at T to try and get some heel heat back, but it just gets more cheers. The wrestling fans in New York are clearly behind Piper for this contest.
Round Three sees T make a comeback, and he manages to knock Piper down in the corner. He then completely misses Piper with a big swing, but Piper bumps anyway to the outside, which looked pretty awful and has stuck out as a sore point with Piper ever since.
As a result, a livid Rowdy One throws his stool at T before the next round with as much force as he could muster wearing thumbless boxing gloves. The end comes when Piper pushes the ref down and powerslams Mr T. All the corner men jump in for a massive brawl (with Susan St James imploring G. Gordon LIddy to help – which is not a good idea) as Mr T is announced as the winner by disqualification…in a boxing match…
Off to Chicago with Gorilla Monsoon, Mean Gene Okerlund and TV host Cathy Lee Crosby, who is dressed in a silver jumpsuit that she must have stolen from the set of Space:1999…
women's championship: the fabulous moolah (c) vs. velvet mcintyre
The Women’s Division has sunk rather sharply since last year’s event. Wendi Richter had remained popular even after Cyndi Lauper had skipped off into the sunset, and as a result was less than impressed at her pay compared to the other male stars. In November 1985, Vince performed the first, far-lesser-know screwjob. At a house show, Richter scheduled opponent was changed to ‘The Spider Lady’, and after a few seconds Richter was pinned, got her shoulder up, but was still counted down for the three. The title was given to The Spider Lady, who turned out to be the Fabulous Moolah, doing Vince a favour. Richter had been screwed, and left the arena in her ring gear, not to return until her Hall of Fame induction in 2010. Without Richter, the women’s division was rapidly sinking, and this match had little significance to anything going on in the company.
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We begin with snapmare after snapmare after snapmare by Moolah to McIntyre, who comes back with some one-legged dropkicks and a powerslam. She tries a flying bodypress but Moolah rolls out the way and then jumps on McIntyre for the three. That’s it. McIntyre had her foot on the rope (unacknowledged by the commentators) and Moolah gives her a stiff stomp as she gets up, perhaps because McIntyre went off script with that rope stunt. The most interesting point of the match is when Gorilla mentions that it’s “not too long ago that Moolah got the title back”. For the modern fan, thinking that 4+ months is not too long ago for a title reign to begin must be quite odd…
The commentators hype the battle royal and tag title match, with Mean Gene getting a good little quip in about Crosby being aligned with football players before.
flag match: corporal kirchner vs. nikolai volkoff (w/'classy' freddie blassie)
Big USA chant expectedly kicks the match off. The two brawl to the outside, where Volkoff bites Kirchner’s face, prompting Cathy Lee to say “Is he biting him? Is that fair?” Of course it isn’t, so Gorilla tries to cover by saying “He’s actually trying to rearrange his facial expressions, Cathy” in a very patronising manner. Kirchner makes his big comeback by punching Volkoff. Then punching him some more. Then more punches. Blassie throws his cane towards Nikolai, but Kirchner intercepts it, clocking Volkoff with it to get the win and marching to the back with the American flag, sporting some blood on his face as a war wound from his two minute match. Gorilla speculates that defeat could lead to Volkoff heading to Siberia. Mean Gene replies that it won’t go down well with the party, as Gorilla should know. Gorilla as well?
Mean Gene gets a hometown pop as he enters the ring to be the announcer for the battle royal. Guest refs include the wonderfully named Dick Butkus and Too Tall Jones, and the guest timekeeper is the Where’s the Beef? Lady, who yells “Now? Now?” and then her catchphrase, all the while without a live microphone…
wwf vs. nfl 20-man battle royal
OK, the participants: From the NFL, Jimbo Covert, Ernie Holmes, Harvey Martin, Russ Francis, Bill Fralic and the super-over William ‘The Refrigerator’ Perry (who played for the current SuperBowl holders and local heroes the Chicago Bears). From the WWF, ‘Golden Boy’ Dan Spivey, Ted Arcidi, the first man to hold all 3 WWF titles Pedro Morales, The Killer Bees (Jumping Jim Brunzell and B Brian Blair), The Hart Foundation (Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart in blue!), King Tonga, Tony Atlas, Hillbilly Jim, Bruno Sammartino, The Iron Sheik, Big John Studd and Andre The Giant in Hulk Hogan’s yellow ring attire. Mean Gene gives some information about most of the participants, which helps NFL fans know something about the WWF guys, and WWF and non-American fans know something about the NFL guys.
Some info on the wrestlers making their first It’s A Happening appearances: Dan Spivey had replaced Barry Windham in the US Express briefly, and decided to cut his hair and wear trunks that made him look like a genetics experiment that had crossed the DNA of Barry Windham and Hulk Hogan; Ted Arcidi had legitimately won world’s strongest man competitions, and had recently joined the company; Pedro Morales had held the WWWF Championship for three years in between Bruno Sammartino’s reigns, as well as having a years-long feud with The Magnificent Muraco in the early 80s that had established the Intercontinental title as something important in the company. Unfortunately, these were all long in the past, and Morales had returned now as a glorified jobber, essentially as if Randy Savage had returned to put over Carlito and Johnny Nitro in the late 2000s. King Tonga is The Artist Soon To Be Known As Haku, who had been on the lower ends of the card for a few years without ever really breaking through; The Killer Bees had been gaining steam since they joined together in 1985 – Jim Brunzell had come over from the AWA, where he had been a big star as one half of The High Flyers (who never really flew, let alone flew high) with boss’s son Greg Gagne, and B. Brian Blair (don’t know what the B. stood for) was a good pal of Hulk Hogan’s who had bounced around tag partners and opening matches since 1984. Then, we have The Hart Foundation. Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart and Jim ‘The Anvil’ Neidhart had joined the WWF in 1984 as part of the deal Vince McMahon secured with Bret’s dad Stu to take over Stampede Wrestling in Calgary. Neidhart had started off in singles with Mr Fuji as his manager whilst Bret had to fight being given a cowboy gimmick. In 1985 they were paired together as a tag team and due to similar names were given Jimmy Hart as a manager and dubbed The Hart Foundation. They were starting to gain attention by this point due to the fact that they were a great tag team, having fantastic matches with the likes of The Killer Bees and The British Bulldogs. Now to the match…
Some info on the wrestlers making their first It’s A Happening appearances: Dan Spivey had replaced Barry Windham in the US Express briefly, and decided to cut his hair and wear trunks that made him look like a genetics experiment that had crossed the DNA of Barry Windham and Hulk Hogan; Ted Arcidi had legitimately won world’s strongest man competitions, and had recently joined the company; Pedro Morales had held the WWWF Championship for three years in between Bruno Sammartino’s reigns, as well as having a years-long feud with The Magnificent Muraco in the early 80s that had established the Intercontinental title as something important in the company. Unfortunately, these were all long in the past, and Morales had returned now as a glorified jobber, essentially as if Randy Savage had returned to put over Carlito and Johnny Nitro in the late 2000s. King Tonga is The Artist Soon To Be Known As Haku, who had been on the lower ends of the card for a few years without ever really breaking through; The Killer Bees had been gaining steam since they joined together in 1985 – Jim Brunzell had come over from the AWA, where he had been a big star as one half of The High Flyers (who never really flew, let alone flew high) with boss’s son Greg Gagne, and B. Brian Blair (don’t know what the B. stood for) was a good pal of Hulk Hogan’s who had bounced around tag partners and opening matches since 1984. Then, we have The Hart Foundation. Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart and Jim ‘The Anvil’ Neidhart had joined the WWF in 1984 as part of the deal Vince McMahon secured with Bret’s dad Stu to take over Stampede Wrestling in Calgary. Neidhart had started off in singles with Mr Fuji as his manager whilst Bret had to fight being given a cowboy gimmick. In 1985 they were paired together as a tag team and due to similar names were given Jimmy Hart as a manager and dubbed The Hart Foundation. They were starting to gain attention by this point due to the fact that they were a great tag team, having fantastic matches with the likes of The Killer Bees and The British Bulldogs. Now to the match…
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William Perry is over huge with the Chicago crowd, to the point that during his introduction one of the fans pumps his fist in sheer joy at his arrival. Ernie Ladd, who was equally successful in American football and wrestling, takes Mean Gene’s place at the commentary table.
People start going out pretty quickly here. Covert, Tonga, Holmes and Brunzell all go to little fanfare. Perry throws Tony Atlas out to a big pop. Hillbilly Jim stands in front of the hard camera doing nothing for a loooong time. Morales and Martin go out together. The crowd comes alive for a tussle between Perry, Studd and Andre. Arcidi and Spivey both are thrown out. The Iron Sheik shows he is a name star by throwing out B Brian Blair and Hillbilly Jim and actually being mentioned for it. Bruno then throws Sheik out before Studd chucks Bruno. The camerawork is not as well-positioned as the modern product, and a lot of eliminations are missed or in the background. The crowd goes crazy as Studd and Perry square off, and then boo heavily when Studd throws ‘The Refrig’ (as Ernie Ladd keeps calling him) out. Perry then offers his hand to Studd and pulls him out, giving Hulk Hogan ideas. The crowd starts to die off now that Perry is gone, and the final four are Andre, Russ Francis and The Hart Foundation…I wonder who’s going to win? Andre gets caught in the ropes whilst Hart and Neidhart throw Francis out. Andre is really starting to fall apart physically by this point, and he spends the rest of the match propping himself up in the corner whilst the Hart Foundation bump around him. Nice spot as Andre uses Neidhart’s beard to whip him into Bret. Neidhart throws his hat into the ridiculous bump competition by running into Andre’s barely lifted leg in the middle of the ring and running and jumping over the top rope as a result. Bret then climbs the ropes to crawl onto Andre for a press slam out of the ring onto Neidhart. Andre gets a decent pop, but the crowd deflated after Perry’s elimination.
People start going out pretty quickly here. Covert, Tonga, Holmes and Brunzell all go to little fanfare. Perry throws Tony Atlas out to a big pop. Hillbilly Jim stands in front of the hard camera doing nothing for a loooong time. Morales and Martin go out together. The crowd comes alive for a tussle between Perry, Studd and Andre. Arcidi and Spivey both are thrown out. The Iron Sheik shows he is a name star by throwing out B Brian Blair and Hillbilly Jim and actually being mentioned for it. Bruno then throws Sheik out before Studd chucks Bruno. The camerawork is not as well-positioned as the modern product, and a lot of eliminations are missed or in the background. The crowd goes crazy as Studd and Perry square off, and then boo heavily when Studd throws ‘The Refrig’ (as Ernie Ladd keeps calling him) out. Perry then offers his hand to Studd and pulls him out, giving Hulk Hogan ideas. The crowd starts to die off now that Perry is gone, and the final four are Andre, Russ Francis and The Hart Foundation…I wonder who’s going to win? Andre gets caught in the ropes whilst Hart and Neidhart throw Francis out. Andre is really starting to fall apart physically by this point, and he spends the rest of the match propping himself up in the corner whilst the Hart Foundation bump around him. Nice spot as Andre uses Neidhart’s beard to whip him into Bret. Neidhart throws his hat into the ridiculous bump competition by running into Andre’s barely lifted leg in the middle of the ring and running and jumping over the top rope as a result. Bret then climbs the ropes to crawl onto Andre for a press slam out of the ring onto Neidhart. Andre gets a decent pop, but the crowd deflated after Perry’s elimination.
Back in New York, Vince and Susan are with Roddy Piper, who is wearing a hoodie made out of towels. The Rowdy One accuses both William Perry and Mr T of being cheaters. He re-uses his line about hair-cutting and painting black and harasses Susan St James a little. To cap of his evening, he then starts imitating a gorilla as we quickly, thankfully, cut back to Chicago. Mean Gene is with Jimbo Covert, who claims that Bill Fralic cheated by jumping him from behind in the battle royal, showing he hasn’t understood the rules, and The Iron Sheik says he would have won if Nikolai Volkoff had been in the match with him.
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tag team title match: the dream team (c) (w/'luscious' johnny v) vs. the british bulldogs (w/capt. lou albano & ozzy osbourne)
The Bulldogs, Lou Albano and Ozzy Osbourne are an odd mix, and one that no doubt ended in debauchery. Gorilla and Mean Gene put over there being two referees, so that we can get a definitive winner for sure this time.
The pace of this show finally picks up as The Bulldogs work over Greg Valentine at quite a speed. Shoulderblocks, snap suplexes and vertical suplexes from Dynamite that are all perfectly executed. Valentine rolls out of the ring, as Mean Gene wonders why Valentine doesn’t just tag Beefcake in. Because he’s not as good as the others at this point, Gene. Valentine eventually gets back into the match and tags out to Beefcake, who just wrings Davey Boy’s arm and slows the whole match down. That’s why Valentine didn’t tag out, Gene. Davey turns the arm wringer into a press slam, which is quite impressive. Dynamite comes in, and moves so fast around the ring that Beefcake can hardly keep up with him, so Valentine comes back in. Nice fisherman’s suplex by Davey Boy. The Bulldogs link arms and hit a double shoulder block. Valentine comes back with a Tombstone variation where he falls forward and gets 2. Davey tries to press slam Dynamite on Valentine, but The Hammer rolls outside. Running powerslam from Davey Boy gets another 2. Valentine works over Davey Boy after sending him into the ring post, using – yes! – hammerlocks!
Woah! Beefcake is in! He also locks in a hammerlock. He then lifts Davey up and dumps him down on his arm, which looked pretty cool. Knowing that’s as good as it’s going to get, Beefcake quickly tags back out. Valentine hits a shoulderbreaker but does that dumb heel spot where he pulls Davey up at 2. Of course, shortly thereafter Davey propels Valentine headfirst into Dynamite’s head, sacrificing his own partner to get the three count and the tag team championship. Odd finish, but a great tag match (well, essentially a handicap match) and now the best match in WrestleMania history. Albano and Ozzy Osbourne lift the belts as if they have won them and cut promos with Mean Gene and Cathy Lee whilst the new champions just crouch on the outside. Davey eventually comes in and reveals that apparently Green Cards were part of the stipulation, as he and Dynamite will now stay in the United States as a result of this title win. Meanwhile, Dynamite keeps it real by selling his head on the outside and refusing to be part of any of this happiness.
The pace of this show finally picks up as The Bulldogs work over Greg Valentine at quite a speed. Shoulderblocks, snap suplexes and vertical suplexes from Dynamite that are all perfectly executed. Valentine rolls out of the ring, as Mean Gene wonders why Valentine doesn’t just tag Beefcake in. Because he’s not as good as the others at this point, Gene. Valentine eventually gets back into the match and tags out to Beefcake, who just wrings Davey Boy’s arm and slows the whole match down. That’s why Valentine didn’t tag out, Gene. Davey turns the arm wringer into a press slam, which is quite impressive. Dynamite comes in, and moves so fast around the ring that Beefcake can hardly keep up with him, so Valentine comes back in. Nice fisherman’s suplex by Davey Boy. The Bulldogs link arms and hit a double shoulder block. Valentine comes back with a Tombstone variation where he falls forward and gets 2. Davey tries to press slam Dynamite on Valentine, but The Hammer rolls outside. Running powerslam from Davey Boy gets another 2. Valentine works over Davey Boy after sending him into the ring post, using – yes! – hammerlocks!
Woah! Beefcake is in! He also locks in a hammerlock. He then lifts Davey up and dumps him down on his arm, which looked pretty cool. Knowing that’s as good as it’s going to get, Beefcake quickly tags back out. Valentine hits a shoulderbreaker but does that dumb heel spot where he pulls Davey up at 2. Of course, shortly thereafter Davey propels Valentine headfirst into Dynamite’s head, sacrificing his own partner to get the three count and the tag team championship. Odd finish, but a great tag match (well, essentially a handicap match) and now the best match in WrestleMania history. Albano and Ozzy Osbourne lift the belts as if they have won them and cut promos with Mean Gene and Cathy Lee whilst the new champions just crouch on the outside. Davey eventually comes in and reveals that apparently Green Cards were part of the stipulation, as he and Dynamite will now stay in the United States as a result of this title win. Meanwhile, Dynamite keeps it real by selling his head on the outside and refusing to be part of any of this happiness.
In New York, Vince desperately tries to put over King Kong Bundy as a threat to Hogan’s WWF championship, but Susan Saint James gives him nothing and disagrees with everything, saying there’s no way Hogan’s going to lose. The barely concealed annoyance on Vince’s face is priceless. To Los Angeles!
Jesse Ventura welcomes us along with Lord Alfred Hayes, Elvira and Hercules Hernandez’s legs. The Body remarks that they make quite a pair, so Elvira points at her boobies and mouths “quite a pair”. Classy. Hercules stalks over behind them in the ring, probably trying to get a glimpse of the pair himself.
ricky 'the dragon' steamboat vs. hercules hernandez
Hercules had recently arrived from the Florida territory, and was still trying to work out his gimmick exactly. Here he is in some ancient warrior garb with a gloriously huge afro. Steamboat continues the pace set from the last match against Hercules, moving with his usual grace around the ring and getting the crowd engaged with his chops. He makes Jake Roberts’ feeble leapfrog look even worse by executing not one, but two perfect leaps, followed by a crisp back elbow. Hercules gets back into it with a clothesline and some repeated knees to Steamboat’s head. A stun gun from Hercules has the crowd chanting for The Dragon, who is really getting over at this point. Hernandez reminds us of the art of selling by giving Steamboat some stiff punches and then shaking his hand afterwards. Nice. A strange press slam/ram to the mat by Hercules before he goes to the top rope for the inevitable jump on to raised knees spot. Steamboat doesn’t miss when he goes up top, nailing a flying bodypress for the three count. Another solid match, and even though he will be on every pay-per-view from now until the 1992 Royal Rumble, Hercules won’t have a better match than this.
uncle elmer vs. 'adorable' adrian adonis (w/jimmy hart)
There goes the good match streak. Since the end of his feud with Roddy Piper and Jesse Ventura, Uncle Elmer had plummeted down the card with the speed that gravity would dictate a man of his size would. Jimmy Hart sprays perfume in Elmer’s face, prompting him to go after the pair, Adonis elaborately prancing away like he was on a 70s comedy show and Elmer barely able to move after them. This is one of those matches you don’t want non-wrestling fans to see.
Adonis tries to make something of the match by bouncing around and using cheap heat stalling tactics, but the fans could not care less. Elmer falls over himself trying to throw a punch, and then throws even worse hits after Adonis gets caught in the ropes. The dress is ripped off, leading Elvira to scream “Put the dress back on! Put the dress back on!” Elmer misses a terrible legdrop and Adonis hits a flying splash/punch/headbutt thing to get the three and end this for the good of all humanity. Adonis makes the point that Elmer is on the way out by literally kicking the man when he’s down. Elmer finally waddles out with one of Adonis’s bows stuck to his back.
Adonis tries to make something of the match by bouncing around and using cheap heat stalling tactics, but the fans could not care less. Elmer falls over himself trying to throw a punch, and then throws even worse hits after Adonis gets caught in the ropes. The dress is ripped off, leading Elvira to scream “Put the dress back on! Put the dress back on!” Elmer misses a terrible legdrop and Adonis hits a flying splash/punch/headbutt thing to get the three and end this for the good of all humanity. Adonis makes the point that Elmer is on the way out by literally kicking the man when he’s down. Elmer finally waddles out with one of Adonis’s bows stuck to his back.
Hulk Hogan cuts an interview about fighting through the pain to beat King Kong Bundy whilst Lord Alfred Hayes’ eyes keep darting side-to-side like an Eagle Eyes Action Man doll. Sorry, action figure.
junkyard dog & tito santana vs. terry & hoss funk (w/jimmy hart)
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Terry’s brother, former NWA World Champion and legend of the seventies, Dory Funk, Jr., had recently joined his brother in the WWF, but for whatever reason, Vince McMahon decided that name recognition and history didn’t sound as good as calling him 'Hoss'. Meanwhile, Tito Santana no longer had the Intercontinental title or a point, so he joined JYD in his quest to strip Jimmy Hart down to his briefs.
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The Funks bring the work rate back up here against Tito Santana (who also puts in the effort) and Junkyard Dog (who seems way more enthused than at The Wrestling Classic). Terry bumps like a boss for JYD and Santana, as does Dory (I’m not going to call him Hoss). The opening few minutes are fast-paced and fairly back and forth. Santana seals the leapfrog performance of the night by trumping Ricky Steamboat and pulling off three in a row, followed by a flying forearm on Dory. Terry dives into make the save for his brother. The Funks take over after Terry nails Tito in the back during a criss-cross spot. Jimmy Hart puts the boots into Santana on the outside as JYD fends him off.
Terry and Tito jockey for a suplex on the apron, as Elvira wonders if their trunks are reinforced. That’s actually a good question. Jesse says if they’re not, we’ll get a real show. “Woo! That’s what I came for!” exclaims Elvira. Ventura then hilariously condemns her for showing preference for Santana as he is more handsome than the others. It may not seem hilarious as I have typed it, but watch the match and listen to how awesome Ventura was in his role. Tito makes the hot tag to JYD and Junkyard cleans house and gives Terry a huge back bodydrop out of the ring. JYD brings tables to WrestleMania fourteen years before The Dudleyz by slamming Terry on one. Back in the ring, the finish sees Dory break up a pin and then get locked in a figure-four for a few seconds by Tito. As the referee clears Tito and Dory out of the ring, Jimmy Hart throws his megaphone to Terry, and one blow to the head later Terry gets the pinfall on JYD, which is quite a surprise.
Terry and Tito jockey for a suplex on the apron, as Elvira wonders if their trunks are reinforced. That’s actually a good question. Jesse says if they’re not, we’ll get a real show. “Woo! That’s what I came for!” exclaims Elvira. Ventura then hilariously condemns her for showing preference for Santana as he is more handsome than the others. It may not seem hilarious as I have typed it, but watch the match and listen to how awesome Ventura was in his role. Tito makes the hot tag to JYD and Junkyard cleans house and gives Terry a huge back bodydrop out of the ring. JYD brings tables to WrestleMania fourteen years before The Dudleyz by slamming Terry on one. Back in the ring, the finish sees Dory break up a pin and then get locked in a figure-four for a few seconds by Tito. As the referee clears Tito and Dory out of the ring, Jimmy Hart throws his megaphone to Terry, and one blow to the head later Terry gets the pinfall on JYD, which is quite a surprise.
The ring crew begin constructing the WWF blue-barred cage as Jesse Ventura makes Elvira uncomfortable talking about caged rooms and bats.
A promo package for the Hogan-Bundy feud is shown next, during which Hulk stands holding a dumbbell in the most graphically phallic way he possibly could. Both Hogan and Mean Gene look off camera sheepishly as if they have both realised how this looks but they carry on to finish the promo. Bobby Heenan and King Kong Bundy are interviewed by Ventura and Heenan does an awesome job of putting Bundy over as a threat to the champion. Unfortunately, we then cut back to Vince and Susan Saint James, who ignores everything that Heenan has expertly set up by refusing to entertain any notion of Hulk losing. |
steel cage match for the wwf championship: hulk hogan (c) vs. king kong bundy (w/ bobby 'the brain' heenan)
The pay-per-view world is introduced to Hulk Hogan’s patented superhero vs. big fat guy formula for this main event as the still disturbingly hairless Bundy makes the first play for the Most Dramatic Rise In WrestleMania Fortune by jumping from a “nine” second squash at WrestleMania I to the main event the next year. Twelve months later from here was a very different scenario for him, however…Hogan climbs the cage to enter showing little ill-effect from his big injury, as Lord Alfred refers to the champion as the “most magnificent athlete in the whole of the world”. Bit much, Alfred.
The Hulkster flies out of the gates, as he should in a match against a guy who put him out of action, and even uses some tape to choke Bundy. Hulk throws Bundy in to the cage and the Hairless One starts to blade in front of the camera, but Heenan, the old pro, puts his hand in just the right place to cover it up. Despite the blood, Hogan soon gets beaten down as Bundy’s size advantage starts to show and after a bodyslam Hogan has to desperately hug Bundy to stop him from getting out of the cage. Maybe it was a bearhug, but it certainly seemed like a standard hug. Hogan tries a slam of his own, but his ribs give out. The Avalanche is hit and Hogan spasms in the middle of the ring. Bundy nearly makes it out of the ring, but Hulk dives across to grab his leg. Heenan tries to help Bundy out, but is obviously overpowered by Hogan. Another Avalanche is no-sold, and is the first move that Hogan killed on pay-per-view! Hogan slams Bundy, hits the legdrop and climbs out as the crowd goes crazy. Hogan chases Heenan around the ring and finally corners him inside the cage, giving him a bit of a beating before giving him an atomic drop that propels him out of the ring. Special referee Robert Conrad raises Hogan’s hand before Hulk whispers something in his ear and Conrad bails sharpish, leaving Hogan alone to pose and close the show.
The Hulkster flies out of the gates, as he should in a match against a guy who put him out of action, and even uses some tape to choke Bundy. Hulk throws Bundy in to the cage and the Hairless One starts to blade in front of the camera, but Heenan, the old pro, puts his hand in just the right place to cover it up. Despite the blood, Hogan soon gets beaten down as Bundy’s size advantage starts to show and after a bodyslam Hogan has to desperately hug Bundy to stop him from getting out of the cage. Maybe it was a bearhug, but it certainly seemed like a standard hug. Hogan tries a slam of his own, but his ribs give out. The Avalanche is hit and Hogan spasms in the middle of the ring. Bundy nearly makes it out of the ring, but Hulk dives across to grab his leg. Heenan tries to help Bundy out, but is obviously overpowered by Hogan. Another Avalanche is no-sold, and is the first move that Hogan killed on pay-per-view! Hogan slams Bundy, hits the legdrop and climbs out as the crowd goes crazy. Hogan chases Heenan around the ring and finally corners him inside the cage, giving him a bit of a beating before giving him an atomic drop that propels him out of the ring. Special referee Robert Conrad raises Hogan’s hand before Hulk whispers something in his ear and Conrad bails sharpish, leaving Hogan alone to pose and close the show.
well you know something, mean gene
All in all, WrestleMania II was an interesting show, if not for all the right reasons. The sound and picture quality was very poor in places, and the cutting between cities didn’t always go very smoothly – Vince would rarely let this level of amateurism been seen on his televisied product again. Despite Randy Savage and Jake Roberts making their WrestleMania debuts, the first half of the show was hard to watch. Savage tried his best against George Steele, and Roberts was mostly trying to get the DDT over, but the other matches in New York and the first half of the Chicago portion were tough to get through, and actually were made more entertaining by the commentating of the celebrities. The Boxing match was enjoyable mostly to watch Roddy Piper slowly lose his mind with frustration, and although the Battle Royal was nothing special, the crowd reaction to ‘The Refrig’ gave it a little something.
Then, the show took off. The tag title match was the match of the night, as they wisely kept Beefcake out of most of it. Steamboat-Hercules kept up the pace and the Funks vs. Santana & JYD was a decent tag match. Adonis – Elmer is best forgotten for the sake of everyone, however... In the main event, Hogan introduced the formula that would make him a lot of money over the years, facing the insurmountable odds of someone even bigger than him, and in Bundy he had a big man who whilst no Vader or Bam Bam Bigelow, held his own. They kept it short and gave the extra treat of a Bobby Heenan beat down, which allied with Hogan’s white-hot heat in LA made it feel like a big time match.
The event did well on pay-per-view, taking around 319,000 buys, proving that WrestleMania was a legitimate success and could be an annual event, unlike The Wrestling Classic. If you take a look around the Internet, you’ll see that WrestleMania 2 often ranks pretty low on lists of the greatest WrestleManias and it’s easy to see why when you compare it to the slick productions that would follow. Yet, there is something charming about the whole ramshackle feel to this event that shouldn’t be overlooked. It’s certainly not amazing, not even good really, but you can have a good time counting the number of comments or angles that would break Twitter if they occurred today…
Then, the show took off. The tag title match was the match of the night, as they wisely kept Beefcake out of most of it. Steamboat-Hercules kept up the pace and the Funks vs. Santana & JYD was a decent tag match. Adonis – Elmer is best forgotten for the sake of everyone, however... In the main event, Hogan introduced the formula that would make him a lot of money over the years, facing the insurmountable odds of someone even bigger than him, and in Bundy he had a big man who whilst no Vader or Bam Bam Bigelow, held his own. They kept it short and gave the extra treat of a Bobby Heenan beat down, which allied with Hogan’s white-hot heat in LA made it feel like a big time match.
The event did well on pay-per-view, taking around 319,000 buys, proving that WrestleMania was a legitimate success and could be an annual event, unlike The Wrestling Classic. If you take a look around the Internet, you’ll see that WrestleMania 2 often ranks pretty low on lists of the greatest WrestleManias and it’s easy to see why when you compare it to the slick productions that would follow. Yet, there is something charming about the whole ramshackle feel to this event that shouldn’t be overlooked. It’s certainly not amazing, not even good really, but you can have a good time counting the number of comments or angles that would break Twitter if they occurred today…