saturday night's main event 3
It's Halloween and the WWF don't disappoint, giving us evil foreigners passing pumpkins in an intimate manner, terrifying hats that must be destroyed by hillbillies, and not enough Macho Man...
history in the making
After the events of last month’s Saturday Night’s Main Event, Andre The Giant would have back-up for his feud with Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy in the shape of the WWF Champion, Hulk Hogan, as the WWF continued to build up video footage of Hogan and Andre’s friendship in order to make millions and millions of dollars in the near future…Also stemming from the previous month, Roddy Piper was now the number one nemesis of the hillbillies, but being a stand-up guy he had invited them on to Piper’s Pit in order to settle their differences.
In the summer, Terry Funk, former NWA Champion and already by 1985 a legend in the business (and coming off his first retirement) had debuted in the company, taking Jimmy Hart as his manager. Funk’s first feud would be with the Junkyard Dog, who still made no sense when he spoke, but was incredibly over with the crowd. Funk had branded JYD earlier in the year, and to add spice to this grudge match, a WWF Championship shot could be waiting for Funk if he won.
But, more importantly, it’s Halloween, so if we can’t settle things in the ring, why not do so in a series of Halloween-related activities…Actually, far more importantly, Randy ‘Macho Man’ Savage is finally on network television – Ohhh yeah!!!
In the summer, Terry Funk, former NWA Champion and already by 1985 a legend in the business (and coming off his first retirement) had debuted in the company, taking Jimmy Hart as his manager. Funk’s first feud would be with the Junkyard Dog, who still made no sense when he spoke, but was incredibly over with the crowd. Funk had branded JYD earlier in the year, and to add spice to this grudge match, a WWF Championship shot could be waiting for Funk if he won.
But, more importantly, it’s Halloween, so if we can’t settle things in the ring, why not do so in a series of Halloween-related activities…Actually, far more importantly, Randy ‘Macho Man’ Savage is finally on network television – Ohhh yeah!!!
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it's a happening
Backstage, we see Bobby Heenan preparing for apple bobbing; Hulk Hogan talking until Andre The Giant tells him that’s enough; Roddy Piper is Super Rowdy, and is having a love-in with Jesse Ventura about interfering in the hillbilly wedding last month; Terry Funk will be in line for a WWF Championship shot if he can beat Junkyard Dog, and so spits his tobacco into the camera – nice…
Getting into the spirit of Halloween, we see several fans dressed as WWF Superstars. Jesse Ventura seems to have slaughtered a peacock and is wearing it as a prize.
They show Terry Funk beating up a ring attendant on videotape, but it’s all video trickery, according to Jimmy Hart. They also show Funk branding JYD at Madison Square Garden in the summer. JYD is here, and says…something…
Getting into the spirit of Halloween, we see several fans dressed as WWF Superstars. Jesse Ventura seems to have slaughtered a peacock and is wearing it as a prize.
They show Terry Funk beating up a ring attendant on videotape, but it’s all video trickery, according to Jimmy Hart. They also show Funk branding JYD at Madison Square Garden in the summer. JYD is here, and says…something…
junkyard dog vs. terry funk (w/ jimmy hart)
JYD starts by pulling Funk in the ring from behind, and crotches him on the top rope. Jimmy Hart is hiding under the ring as Ventura denounces the attack from behind. Funk and JYD exchange slams until JYD slams the Funker outside. Disorientated, Funk nearly clobbers Jimmy Hart, but gathers himself to enter the ring again, only to get the trademark head-butts that make the crowd erupt with huge chants of “JYD!” Jimmy tries to help out his charge by grabbing JYD’s leg, prompting the Dog to give chase. Funk charges him outside, but only gets a backdrop to the concrete for his troubles.
Back in the ring, Funk nails some quick right jabs which actually gets a two count. JYD gets caught in a sleeperhold, and the crowd chants his name to get him back into it. JYD takes “the cheap way out” according to Ventura by reaching the ropes but quickly locks a sleeper of his own in, only breaking it when Jimmy Hart jumps up on the apron. Junkyard pulls Hart into the ring; causing the referee to get distracted and leaving Funk the chance to nail JYD with the megaphone and score a three count which puts him as number one contender.
After the match, Funk and Hart try to brand JYD, but he fights back and knocks Terry Funk silly with the branding iron. Hart is nailed with a big right hand, and a tug of war ensues between JYD and Funk over Hart that ends with poor Jimmy’s trousers coming off and his red briefs being exposed to a network television audience. JYD strikes and brands Jimmy’s backside. Vince declares that, “JYD may have lost this match, but look at what he’s won!” It seems he has won nothing, except the questionable pleasure of branding another man’s buttocks?
Back in the ring, Funk nails some quick right jabs which actually gets a two count. JYD gets caught in a sleeperhold, and the crowd chants his name to get him back into it. JYD takes “the cheap way out” according to Ventura by reaching the ropes but quickly locks a sleeper of his own in, only breaking it when Jimmy Hart jumps up on the apron. Junkyard pulls Hart into the ring; causing the referee to get distracted and leaving Funk the chance to nail JYD with the megaphone and score a three count which puts him as number one contender.
After the match, Funk and Hart try to brand JYD, but he fights back and knocks Terry Funk silly with the branding iron. Hart is nailed with a big right hand, and a tug of war ensues between JYD and Funk over Hart that ends with poor Jimmy’s trousers coming off and his red briefs being exposed to a network television audience. JYD strikes and brands Jimmy’s backside. Vince declares that, “JYD may have lost this match, but look at what he’s won!” It seems he has won nothing, except the questionable pleasure of branding another man’s buttocks?
It’s time for the pie-eating contest, and everyone is dressed up in costume. On the heel side, Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff are Batman and Robin, King Kong Bundy is Abraham Lincoln, Bobby Heenan is Davey Crockett, and Randy Savage and Elizabeth are Tarzan and Jane, and a rather lovely Jane at that. For the babyfaces, Tito Santana is Zorro, the Hillbillies are the Three Musketeers, Lou Albano is Caesar, and Hulk Hogan is Hercules (the Greek god, not Hernandez). The contest is between Albano and Bundy, and those on the same side of the heel/babyface divide cheer them on. Albano is the victor, and Bundy being a bad sport whacks him with a pie to the face. Unflustered, the Captain just asks for more pie.
piper's pit
Uncle Elmer, Hillbilly Jim, and Cousin Junior await in the ring on a bench left over from morning assembly as we see footage of the wedding on the previous episode. Roddy Piper and ‘Ace’ ‘Cowboy’ Bob Orton enter the ring, Piper noting, “everyday is Halloween to you folks.” Piper asks Elmer what went on during the wedding night and is told “None of your business.” Elmer likes that answer so much that he uses it for every question directed his way. Hillbilly Jim stands up for Elmer when Piper brings up the carp line from the wedding, and Piper backs down, pointing out that it was Jesse Ventura who said it, not him. The hillbillies challenge Ventura’s manhood and ask him to come down and say it to their faces. Ventura doesn’t back down, and makes his way to the ring.
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Bob Orton jumps Cousin Junior from behind, and a big brawl breaks out. The hillbillies back Ventura into a corner, and the heels all scarper. Uncle Elmer takes his frustrations out on The Body’s hat, instructing, “Junior, step on that hat!” whilst being scared enough of the thing to back away from it, perhaps fearing that peacock is not quite dead, or just having a fear of hats themselves...
It’s time for the pumpkin dunk. It’s Bobby Heenan against Cousin Junior for this one. Mean Gene, who must have said such things on purpose, announces, “assume the position, let’s get down and dirty!” Heenan comes out the victor, meaning it’s 1-1. The deciding fall will come later…
Mean Gene is in the arena with King Kong Bundy, Big John Studd, and Bobby Heenan. They call themselves The Dream Team, but there’s no Beefcake in sight…Lou Albano calls his team of Hulk Hogan and Andre The Giant the “real dream team”, but again there is no Beefcake…Albano and Gene talk about the pie-eating contest until Hogan says, “Enough of the nonsense – out here is the real thing.” Quite right, Hulkster. Quite right.
Mean Gene is in the arena with King Kong Bundy, Big John Studd, and Bobby Heenan. They call themselves The Dream Team, but there’s no Beefcake in sight…Lou Albano calls his team of Hulk Hogan and Andre The Giant the “real dream team”, but again there is no Beefcake…Albano and Gene talk about the pie-eating contest until Hogan says, “Enough of the nonsense – out here is the real thing.” Quite right, Hulkster. Quite right.
the dream team vs. the dream team, or, Hulk Hogan & Andre The giant (w/capt. lou albano) vs. big john studd & king kong bundy (w/bobby 'the brain' heenan)
Hogan is in his early SNME-white garb, and he begins with The Man Of No Body Hair, King Kong Bundy. Shoulder blocks by Hogan don’t do much to budge Bundy, but a running high knee knocks him down. He tries a slam, but no dice, mister. The Hulkster nails his running clothesline to the corner, and tags in Andre. Vince calls him “The Big Bossman”…Andre pushes Bundy to the ropes, and he chokes the Hairless One out with his own tight straps. Hogan is back in with a second rope axehandle, but Studd manages a cheap shot to turn the tide in favour of the heels. Studd enters and beats down the Hulkster for a short while. Hogan escapes the lethargic beating with an attempted back suplex that turns into just dumping Studd on the mat awkwardly. Jesse Ventura challenges the hillbillies to a match on the next SNME if NBC will allow him to leave the commentary booth. Andre comes in and chops away at Studd so wildly that he clobbers the ref as he does so, providing the opportunity for a big brawl between both teams. Andre and Hogan clean house, presenting the perfect opportunity for a commercial break…
We return to Andre holding Studd in a bearhug. The faces trade tags and beat downs on Studd until Andre’s not-quite-as-big-as-before big boot sends Studd to the outside. In a cool-looking spot, Studd and Bundy then manage to get Andre caught in the ropes on the outside, so Andre is dangling from the apron. Studd holds Hogan back, allowing Bundy the chance to splash Andre a few times. The heels work on the sternum they had previously cracked as the bell rings. Hogan Hulks Up and takes out Bundy as the crowd goes crazy. Studd is sent flying outside by a clothesline.
Mean Gene enters the ring for a word after Hogan and Andre are announced as winners by disqualification. Andre hasn’t had enough, and Hulk is sure they will never beat Andre. |
land of 1,000 dances premiere
The logical conclusion of the Cyndi Lauper-fuelled Rock 'n' Wrestling Connection was the production of The Wrestling Album, which featured 'Real American' and began the change towards in-house entrance themes, and the end of 'Eye Of The Tiger' and 'Another One Bites The Dust' accompanying wrestlers to the ring. What we get here is the answer to this question: "What would happen if you put Meatloaf, Cyndi Lauper, WWF wrestlers, an increasingly successful Vince McMahon and a lot of questionable substances in a room?" Well, this is what would happen:
In the aisleway, Mean Gene has scooted back in time to interview ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage and Elizabeth. “Why a woman manager?” asks Gene. “You’re either blind or stupid – which one are you, Mean Gene?” retorts Savage. It turns out that Elizabeth has always been interested in sports, and she really just wants to help Randy. They leave, and Gene follows Liz’s walk, needing Vince to call him back to attention. Elizabeth then appears in the arena with a low-cut top, and Vince says “We hope to see much more of Elizabeth” as the camera gets a good look down her top. And we're over a decade from the Attitude Era...
intercontinental title match: tito santana (c) vs. randy 'macho man' savage (w/elizabeth)
The Macho Man had arrived in the WWF in the early summer of 1985, after a successful Memphis stint. Racking up win after win, the heel managers in the federation would stroll to ringside to watch Savage as they all bartered for his name on a contract. Eventually, Savage was set to announce his decision, calling all the top managers into the ring. He thanked them all one by one for their advice and insight, and then introduced his manager – Elizabeth. She was of course Savage’s real-life wife and quite nice to look at. The dynamic between the two – the manic, super-possessive Savage and the demur, wholesome Liz – was not so far from real-life and immediately got over with the fans. After only a few months in the WWF, Savage was already a contender to the Intercontinental title and was allowed to talk repeatedly on television about aiming for Hulk Hogan’s WWF Championship. And, most importantly of all, he was awesome.
Ventura bigs up Savage at the beginning of the match, asserting that Santana’s title is in big jeopardy. Savage starts by bailing outside and stalling like a champion. They eventually lock up and roll around the ropes as each man tries to gain the upper hand. Savage does so with a snapmare, but a missed back elbow leads to Santana hip tossing the Macho Man. A second rope axehandle gets a two for Savage, before he locks in a sleeper and the crowd start a chant of “Tito!” They break away into a double wristlock, which Savage wins control of by pulling the hair and getting a side headlock going. Savage makes the mistake of going up top too early, and Tito blasts him on the way down. Some left jabs and a big roundhouse right send Macho outside for a breather. Santana follows him and they brawl on the outside before Savage takes off and runs around the ring. Santana falls for the bait, and this allows Macho the chance to take control and attempt a piledriver on to the concrete floor. He can’t quite manage it, so just kneelifts the champion instead. The bell then rings, as this one seems to be a double count out. Awfully quick.
Ventura bigs up Savage at the beginning of the match, asserting that Santana’s title is in big jeopardy. Savage starts by bailing outside and stalling like a champion. They eventually lock up and roll around the ropes as each man tries to gain the upper hand. Savage does so with a snapmare, but a missed back elbow leads to Santana hip tossing the Macho Man. A second rope axehandle gets a two for Savage, before he locks in a sleeper and the crowd start a chant of “Tito!” They break away into a double wristlock, which Savage wins control of by pulling the hair and getting a side headlock going. Savage makes the mistake of going up top too early, and Tito blasts him on the way down. Some left jabs and a big roundhouse right send Macho outside for a breather. Santana follows him and they brawl on the outside before Savage takes off and runs around the ring. Santana falls for the bait, and this allows Macho the chance to take control and attempt a piledriver on to the concrete floor. He can’t quite manage it, so just kneelifts the champion instead. The bell then rings, as this one seems to be a double count out. Awfully quick.
Mr Fuji is shown screwing his head together with his hands whilst Ricky Steamboat breaks balsa wood with his bare hands. This is followed by frankly unsettling footage of Nikolai Volkoff and The Iron Sheik practicing the pumpkin pass with each other.
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In a truly odd segment, which is saying something for mid-80s WWF, Roddy Piper is at his home preparing for trick or treating. Vince is there in his interviewing suit, and he asks how Piper would celebrate Halloween in his native Scotland, which somehow prompts Piper to put a stick under his nose and impersonate a “savage”. He is wrapping bricks and bowling balls up to pass off as candy…Here come the kids (including a young Stephanie McMahon amongst their number) and one of them has made the mistake of dressing as Hulk Hogan. This surely won't end well...
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Roddy breaks their bags with his brick chocolates, and hoovers up their real candy as it falls on his floor. Piper is full-on mental throughout all of this. It turns out that the kids have given him chocolate-covered peppers on purpose, and he’s none too pleased. That’ll teach that rotten old Mr Piper.
The Real Hulk Hogan is glad the kids outsmarted Piper, and Fuji is now breaking things.
The Real Hulk Hogan is glad the kids outsmarted Piper, and Fuji is now breaking things.
kung-fu challenge: ricky 'the dragon' steamboat vs. mr fuji (w/the magnificent muraco)
Since his last appearance on SNME, Ricky has become ‘The Dragon’ and one of the more popular stars in the WWF. Key to this was giving him the chance to display his truly amazing selling skills, and get a demonstration of this as footage of Fuji and Muraco hanging Steamboat in the summer airs. By hanging, I mean hanging with a martial arts belt, but hang him over the ropes they did. Muraco had returned with Fuji as his manager shortly after WrestleMania, and the pair would star in a wonderfully awful series of parodies on TNT.
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In the aisle, Steamboat cuts a promo with Mean Gene, talking about “the dragon…the dragon…the dragon…I’ve said enough,” and off he goes to the ring. Steamboat is very popular here. Vince tells us that the rules will be different, but not exactly how.
Steamboat blocks Fuji’s kicks and then chops and wrings the arm before some more chops. An enziguri takes Fuji down. The Devious One takes over, hitting his falling head-to-the-balls move, then locks his fingers under The Dragon’s chin and flips him over, which looked pretty cool. Ventura explains Fuji controlling the match by saying that in martial arts it’s often the experienced master who defeats the younger guy. Fuji takes it back to wrestling with a suplex, however, and Steamboat counters it into a suplex of his own before heading upstairs and nailing a flying dropkick to get the three count. He doesn’t have time to celebrate, however, as Muraco throws something in his eyes (which Steamboat of course sells magnificently) and the heels beat him down. The Dragon is left beaten down in the ring to keep this feud going.
Steamboat blocks Fuji’s kicks and then chops and wrings the arm before some more chops. An enziguri takes Fuji down. The Devious One takes over, hitting his falling head-to-the-balls move, then locks his fingers under The Dragon’s chin and flips him over, which looked pretty cool. Ventura explains Fuji controlling the match by saying that in martial arts it’s often the experienced master who defeats the younger guy. Fuji takes it back to wrestling with a suplex, however, and Steamboat counters it into a suplex of his own before heading upstairs and nailing a flying dropkick to get the three count. He doesn’t have time to celebrate, however, as Muraco throws something in his eyes (which Steamboat of course sells magnificently) and the heels beat him down. The Dragon is left beaten down in the ring to keep this feud going.
![Picture](/uploads/3/0/8/3/30837789/6211013.jpg?276)
Your main event is…the Pumpkin Pass! Jesse's hat is back...They have to pass the pumpkins to each other under each other’s chins. It’s an uncomfortable site seeing these large men (and the lovely Elizabeth) attempting this. Lou Albano can’t quite get it to Hogan, but Elizabeth is unable to pass the pumpkin to Roddy Piper and the babyfaces get the win. Randy Savage berates Elizabeth for causing defeat – now a man that competitive is going to go far…
Vince and Jesse trade insults to see us out...
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, MEAN GENE...
Another entertaining show, not so much on the wrestling front, but interesting characters continued to develop throughout the card. The Battle Of The Dream Teams (without the tag team champions, The Dream Team) was interesting in that Hulk Hogan was the man doing the running and pulling off the more exciting moves, and Terry Funk and Ricky Steamboat did their best keep the crowd engaged with their more limited opponents. The big disappointment was the Intercontinental title match which was far too short for either Savage or Santana to show what they could do, but if you know how their feud would end, then this non-finish makes sense.
The hillbillies were still featured prominently, getting a six-man tag booked for the next edition of Saturday Night’s Main Event against the top heel (Roddy Piper) and half of the A-list commentary team (Jesse Ventura) and, um, Bob Orton. At least the Savages, Steamboats and Funks had more airtime than Elmer and company this time around.
Another ratings smash, the next stop on the WWF expansion tour – having conquered closed-circuit, cable, and network television – was the new medium of pay-per-view. It would be called The Wrestling Classic, and was so important that it was never mentioned on this entire show, despite happening next week…
The hillbillies were still featured prominently, getting a six-man tag booked for the next edition of Saturday Night’s Main Event against the top heel (Roddy Piper) and half of the A-list commentary team (Jesse Ventura) and, um, Bob Orton. At least the Savages, Steamboats and Funks had more airtime than Elmer and company this time around.
Another ratings smash, the next stop on the WWF expansion tour – having conquered closed-circuit, cable, and network television – was the new medium of pay-per-view. It would be called The Wrestling Classic, and was so important that it was never mentioned on this entire show, despite happening next week…