saturday night's main event 5
Bob Orton stocks up on nicknames, King Kong Bundy loses his sense of time, and Hulk Hogan finds his rightful place in the pantheon of American heroes...
history in the making
The decision had been made that WrestleMania would be an annual event, and so matches are needed to be booked. Folklore has it that originally the WWF considered running a Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage main event, but that they decided to give Savage a longer build-up with an Intercontinental title reign. I guess you could argue that this may have worked out for the best…
So, if it wasn’t going to be Savage, then who would be the challenger for Hogan at WrestleMania? Bobby Heenan began making demands for his charge, King Kong Bundy, to receive a title shot, and Bundy was being booked strong defeating various jobbers. For this evening, however, Hogan would have to face The Magnificent Muraco…
‘Cowboy’ ‘Ace’ Bob Orton added ‘Boxing’ to his never-ending list of nicknames, issuing an open challenge to anyone who had ever stepped in a WWF ring to box him. On a Piper’s Pit in February, Hulk Hogan accepted on behalf of his old buddy, Mr T, and the boxing match was on for this edition of SNME.
So, if it wasn’t going to be Savage, then who would be the challenger for Hogan at WrestleMania? Bobby Heenan began making demands for his charge, King Kong Bundy, to receive a title shot, and Bundy was being booked strong defeating various jobbers. For this evening, however, Hogan would have to face The Magnificent Muraco…
‘Cowboy’ ‘Ace’ Bob Orton added ‘Boxing’ to his never-ending list of nicknames, issuing an open challenge to anyone who had ever stepped in a WWF ring to box him. On a Piper’s Pit in February, Hulk Hogan accepted on behalf of his old buddy, Mr T, and the boxing match was on for this edition of SNME.
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The US Express had broken up towards the end of 1985 when Barry Windham left to head back to Florida and his big run in the NWA, leaving a gap for a top babyface team. Enter the British Bulldogs, who were becoming extremely popular due to their athletic and dynamic ring style. They had scored a non-title victory over the champs and were set to get their title shot here on national television.
It’s WrestleMania season, so there’s no time for backstage parties, fun in the sun, or pie-eating contests – this is serious! Let’s do it do it!
It’s WrestleMania season, so there’s no time for backstage parties, fun in the sun, or pie-eating contests – this is serious! Let’s do it do it!
it's a happening
“What do you want, fool?” demands an angry (yet babyface) Mr T as Mean Gene tries to talk to him in the gym. T tells Gene – who is friends with T’s buddy Hulk Hogan – that after he is through with Cowboy Ace Bob Orton he is going to look like Gene. Which either means that he thinks Okerlund is not the most handsome of men, or he’s going to tear Orton’s hair out and reattach it as a moustache…
The crowd is extremely excited for the event, cheering their backsides off as Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura run down the card and we see a flashback to Piper’s Pit and Hulk Hogan accepting Bob Orton’s open boxing contract on behalf of Clubber Lang.
Roddy Piper throws homophobia into his bag of promo tricks, saying that kids shouldn’t look up to Mr T because he was in a photograph with Boy George…Meanwhile, Mr T is with Mean Gene again, and wonderfully says that he took a dive against Rocky Balboa during Rocky III because he needed the money…
The crowd is extremely excited for the event, cheering their backsides off as Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura run down the card and we see a flashback to Piper’s Pit and Hulk Hogan accepting Bob Orton’s open boxing contract on behalf of Clubber Lang.
Roddy Piper throws homophobia into his bag of promo tricks, saying that kids shouldn’t look up to Mr T because he was in a photograph with Boy George…Meanwhile, Mr T is with Mean Gene again, and wonderfully says that he took a dive against Rocky Balboa during Rocky III because he needed the money…
10-round boxing match: mr t vs. battling boxing cowboy ace bob orton (w/ 'rowdy' roddy piper)
Bob Orton has now added ‘Battling’ to his list of monikers…So, T and Orton box. Then box some more. Jesse Ventura tells us that he’s looking for a little rough stuff in the corners. The Man of Many Monikers jabs T in the eye with his thumb, and the ref checks that Clubber can continue. The first round ends, and Orton takes a cheap shot at Mr T as the ref tries to send the men to their corners. They are worried about Mr T’s eye, which they believe is swelling shut.
The second round begins and Ace has a great time dancing around the ring until T clocks him. We quickly forget the boxing as Cowboy knees Mr T and holds him in position for Piper to get involved. It doesn’t go according to plan, and T takes out Piper and sends Orton to the floor. Ten seconds later, Battling Bob is counted out, so Mr T wins the boxing match…by count out…or knock out? It's never really made clear... |
Piper whips out a belt and a hefty wad of spit in the direction of Mr T, who is taken out from behind by a high knee from the Battling Cowboy and the dastardly heels beat down and whip T with the belt. Jesse throws out a line that any future politician would be proud of: “This is what’s called an old-fashioned whipping”
King Kong Bundy and Bobby Heenan are in the ring. Bundy wants a shot at Hulk Hogan, and Heenan has an open contract that Hogan is free to sign at anytime.
steve gatorwolf vs. king kong bundy (w/bobby 'the brain' heenan)
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Knee, chop in the corner, elbow to the back of the head, whip to the corner, chop, Avalanche, five count. Bundy is the winner over Manimal’s lesser-known cousin.
In the glory of victory, Bundy gets a little confused about how time and space works, declaring that he wants Hogan “right now, right here, any time, any place”. |
Mean Gene is with The Magnificent Muraco. Fuji has the flu, and it’s all Hogan’s fault. Probably the Hulkster told Fuji that he was fine outside without an undershirt…Mean Gene speculates that it’s Asian flu, which Muraco responds to with an appropriately mocking level of laughter. Not to worry, because Fuji’s good friend Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan will take his place in Muraco’s corner for this match.
For his part, Hulk Hogan is ready, yet there is something fishy about the Fuji-Heenan trade.
For his part, Hulk Hogan is ready, yet there is something fishy about the Fuji-Heenan trade.
wwf championship: hulk hogan (c) vs. the magnificent muraco (w/ bobby 'the brain' heenan)
There’s a running back elbow, the big boot, and the big leg, but Bobby Heenan jumps in to break up the pin and gets Muraco disqualified. Hogan grabs Heenan by the collar, but The Brain is saved by King Kong Bundy, who perhaps has decided that now is “any time, any place.” Muraco decides to help Bundy and Heenan, even though The Brain just got him disqualified, and he holds Hogan in place in the corner so that Bundy can nail three Avalanches as the crowd start to throw rubbish into the ring. Muraco crosses Hogan’s arms and reads him his last rites as Bundy splashes the champion a few more times. Hogan spasms as The British Bulldogs and Pedro Morales make the save, but it looks like it’s too late, as Hogan is stretchered out in a neck brace. Gorilla Monsoon joins Hogan in the ambulance, out of friendship, not for the journalistic scoop. Mean Gene knows where his priorities lie, however, and he will try to find out what’s going on at the hospital to let us all know.
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wwf tag team championship: the dream team (c) (w/ 'luscious' johhny v) vs. the british bulldogs (w/ capt. lou albano)
The Dream Team come out to ‘We Are The Champions’, which is kind of awesome. Vince and Jesse talk about music, during which Jesse Ventura disparages McMahon’s knowledge of rock – but the Rock ‘n’ Wrestling Connection taught me that heels hate rock music…In a pre-taped interview, The Dream Team dismiss their non-title loss as “scouting” as we see footage of The Bulldogs’ victory.
Davey Boy Smith and Greg Valentine start the match. Smith shoves Valentine into the corner, and the Bulldogs exchange head-butts. McMahon describes the difference between the Bulldogs as Davey Boy being “huskier” than Dynamite Kid. |
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The Dream Team start to make a comeback, but a double team fails due to Beefcake and Smith starts working the arm. McMahon notices that Brutus isn’t doing well, and indeed Beefcake only manages to tag out when an elbow knocks him into the corner by mistake.
Davey Boy attempts a very weak press slam, getting very close to Greg’s Hammer for a two count. Dynamite is in nails a knee drop that Valentine sells very well indeed. Dynamite continues the assault with a big back suplex, falling head-butt and a second rope knee drop. Valentine then manages to nail an atomic drop on Davey Boy and gets the tag to Bruti. Beefcake unleashes his arsenal, stomping Smith. Then he stomps a little more. Outside the ring, Albano and Blassie start squaring off, so we can take a break.
When we return, Davey Boy is back in control with a second rope dropkick and a weak splash that gets two. Beefcake escapes and Valentine manages to lock the figure-four in, only for Dynamite to break it up with a legdrop – Jesse calls it “blatant outside interference”, and he’s quite right. Valentine exacts vengeance on Dynamite once he’s tagged in, nailing some elbows and getting a two count from a shoulderbreaker. In their corner, The Dream Team beat down Dynamite, and the crowd cheer for the Bulldogs to get back in the match. Valentine winds up and oddly hits a clothesline whilst Dynamite is on the mat. Dynamite boots Valentine away to avoid the figure-four and takes control with a Ric Flair press slam from the top rope. Dynamite unleashes his offence, getting two counts from a missile dropkick, clothesline and snap suplex. Beefcake tries to interfere as the match gets away from his team, but Davey Boy chases him outside. In the ring, Valentine and Dynamite clash heads and both slump to the mat, but Valentine’s foot lands on Dynamite and The Dream Team get the fortunate three count to end a great match.
Davey Boy attempts a very weak press slam, getting very close to Greg’s Hammer for a two count. Dynamite is in nails a knee drop that Valentine sells very well indeed. Dynamite continues the assault with a big back suplex, falling head-butt and a second rope knee drop. Valentine then manages to nail an atomic drop on Davey Boy and gets the tag to Bruti. Beefcake unleashes his arsenal, stomping Smith. Then he stomps a little more. Outside the ring, Albano and Blassie start squaring off, so we can take a break.
When we return, Davey Boy is back in control with a second rope dropkick and a weak splash that gets two. Beefcake escapes and Valentine manages to lock the figure-four in, only for Dynamite to break it up with a legdrop – Jesse calls it “blatant outside interference”, and he’s quite right. Valentine exacts vengeance on Dynamite once he’s tagged in, nailing some elbows and getting a two count from a shoulderbreaker. In their corner, The Dream Team beat down Dynamite, and the crowd cheer for the Bulldogs to get back in the match. Valentine winds up and oddly hits a clothesline whilst Dynamite is on the mat. Dynamite boots Valentine away to avoid the figure-four and takes control with a Ric Flair press slam from the top rope. Dynamite unleashes his offence, getting two counts from a missile dropkick, clothesline and snap suplex. Beefcake tries to interfere as the match gets away from his team, but Davey Boy chases him outside. In the ring, Valentine and Dynamite clash heads and both slump to the mat, but Valentine’s foot lands on Dynamite and The Dream Team get the fortunate three count to end a great match.
Mean Gene is at the hospital, but can’t go inside. So, no update on Hogan’s condition. In place of this, we get something even better: the debut of Hulk Hogan’s ‘Real American’ music video. Yes, the lineage of American heroism and success runs Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Martin Luther King…Hulk Hogan. For sure, none of them could play bass like the Hulkster…
‘Adorable’ Adrian Adonis is now fully immersed in his new gimmick, replying to Mean Gene’s question as to why he is covered in make-up that he woke up and thought he was Mrs Adonis…
junkyard dog vs. 'adorable' adrian adonis (w/jimmy hart)
JYD is still after Jimmy Hart’s underwear, and as one of his charges, Adonis is set to prance to his rescue. ‘The Adorable One’ is wearing flowers in his hair and is wrapped up in multiple scarves, which JYD uses to throw him around the ring with. Adonis gets caught up in the ropes and Junkyard mockingly prances around before nailing some very un-babyface like cheap shots. A big clothesline sends Adonis 360 degrees through the air and gets JYD a two count. Adrian tries a few flouncy chops, but ends up getting whipped into the corner and goes bundling out of the ring. The good guy then head-butts the tiny manager, resulting in booming “JYD!” chants from the audience. JYD then sends Hart into Adonis and the pair go bouncing out of the ring in an uncomfortable-looking spot that tees us up for a break.
Back in the ring, another head-butt only gets two when Adonis manages to get his foot on the rope. JYD misses yet another head-butt and Jimmy Hart takes advantage of a distracted ref to tie JYD’s leg to the ropes using Adonis’s scarves. Adonis chokes out Junkyard until ref Dave Hebner pulls The Adorable One off by his hair, eliciting Ventura’s fury. A piledriver attempt only results in the ref getting kicked in the head and knocked down, and gives Hart the opportunity to jump up on the apron with the megaphone. JYD reverses the whip, though, and Adonis goes head-first into the megaphone (“hit in the bush”, we’re told) and JYD makes the pin for three.
JYD head-butts Jimmy Hart around the ring as the fans chant “JYD!” so loudly the microphone levels are pushed to their limits. Adonis manages to save his manager, but throws a temper tantrum when he is announced as the loser, although Ventura insists that he is just being a good sportsman about it all.
Back in the ring, another head-butt only gets two when Adonis manages to get his foot on the rope. JYD misses yet another head-butt and Jimmy Hart takes advantage of a distracted ref to tie JYD’s leg to the ropes using Adonis’s scarves. Adonis chokes out Junkyard until ref Dave Hebner pulls The Adorable One off by his hair, eliciting Ventura’s fury. A piledriver attempt only results in the ref getting kicked in the head and knocked down, and gives Hart the opportunity to jump up on the apron with the megaphone. JYD reverses the whip, though, and Adonis goes head-first into the megaphone (“hit in the bush”, we’re told) and JYD makes the pin for three.
JYD head-butts Jimmy Hart around the ring as the fans chant “JYD!” so loudly the microphone levels are pushed to their limits. Adonis manages to save his manager, but throws a temper tantrum when he is announced as the loser, although Ventura insists that he is just being a good sportsman about it all.
Back at the hospital, Hulk Hogan’s doctor tells us that the champ has received bruised ribs but luckily there was no internal bleeding.
We wrap up with a recount of the big Mr T/Piper and Bundy/Hogan angles and are informed that Hogan is leaving hospital, because he’s had quite enough of selling this injury, thank you very much…
We wrap up with a recount of the big Mr T/Piper and Bundy/Hogan angles and are informed that Hogan is leaving hospital, because he’s had quite enough of selling this injury, thank you very much…
well you know something, mean gene
After two years of running over all his opponents, it was becoming less and less believable that Hogan was going to lose his matches, and so to keep a long-running story going, we see the introduction of Bobby Heenan as his chief nemesis. The two had drawn big money in the AWA, where Heenan had led Nick Bockwinkel against the Hulkster, and this SNME would see him taking the lead as Hogan’s Enemy Number One and the launchpad for making an awful lot of money.
And quite the Saturday Night’s Main Event it was. Its main purpose was to set up WrestleMania II, and it achieved its aim masterfully. King Kong Bundy looked like a monster in destroying ‘Manimal’ Steve Gatorwolf and then wiping out Hulk Hogan after Hogan’s half-decent match with the Magnificent Muraco. This angle followed the age-old WWWF/WWF tradition created with Bruno Sammartino, in which the popular, heroic babyface is attacked and injured by a monster heel, and the crowd would be fully aware that Hogan would be coming for revenge.
And quite the Saturday Night’s Main Event it was. Its main purpose was to set up WrestleMania II, and it achieved its aim masterfully. King Kong Bundy looked like a monster in destroying ‘Manimal’ Steve Gatorwolf and then wiping out Hulk Hogan after Hogan’s half-decent match with the Magnificent Muraco. This angle followed the age-old WWWF/WWF tradition created with Bruno Sammartino, in which the popular, heroic babyface is attacked and injured by a monster heel, and the crowd would be fully aware that Hogan would be coming for revenge.
Although the Boxing match was not exactly entertaining, the post-match angle (Jesse Ventura’s questionable whipping references aside) provoked a lot of enthusiasm from the crowd and set up interest for a Piper/T clash the next month. When you hear Piper talk now about his feelings on working with T, you will appreciate how little of Piper’s aggression here was worked. JYD was still incredibly popular, still after Jimmy Hart’s underwear, and still using an offensive arsenal consisting entirely of head-butts. Contrast that with the tag team title match, which was far and away the best match of any that have been reviewed on It’s A Happening, despite it being very clear that Brutus’s input was being kept to the bare minimum. The athleticism of Davey Boy Smith and Dynamite Kid were making them huge stars, and Greg Valentine at the time was the perfect guy to keep up with them and ground the match. The unusual finish meant that the Bulldogs had a legitimate shout at another title shot, which they would get a few weeks later at WrestleMania II, meaning that after this show had finished, the WWF had set up three big matches for the pay-per-view: not a bad night’s work…yeah, yeah, uh-huh, uh-huh, tell 'em, tell 'em, uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah, yeah, that's right, that's right...
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As we missed the hi-jinks of early Saturday Night's Main Event for this show, let's make up for it by signing off with the first-ever Slammy Awards, that aired the same night on MTV, and yes, JYD does go after Jimmy Hart's underwear...